Thursday, February 19, 2009

Tear Jerker

Ok. Aside from the hundreds of pages i have to read and the papers i have to write and the test i need to study for by next week, i am just a mess. I have so many thoughts in my head so this blog might be kind of scattered. Anyways. Kim comes back soon. I believe she said the 21st. which is her birthday. Good timing. I am really excited for her birthday party. Circus themed. Im a sucker for themes. I usually hate parties but anytime kim or nichole are there i never get really bored. I think thats what my life is missing and why im so sad here lately. Kim and nichole are such big parts of my life and when they arent here, its like a huge part of me is missing. Its interesting, though, how i can go months and months and months without seeing either of them, but the second i see them again its as if no time has passed since the last time we saw eachother. Kim, i know youre reading this and i just want to tell you how much i love you! Ive never had a friend who is practically a sister before i became friends with you. You are unlike anyone i know and i love you for that. We went through a rough patch awhile back because i felt as if i were competing with john but i suppose ive come to like him now haha. you chose a good guy, but dont forget to appreciate everything he does for you because he is one of a kind. I havent heard of many guys who would do the things he does. Anyways. I miss you to death and i love you! oh ok so back to the party. Circus theme! Im gonna be a mime. Im gonna try making greg the "strong man" because he is....not and i think itd be funny. lol

I ve been crying a lot lately. Its so "emo" i know but really i have no idea what is wrong with me. Maybe im just stressed. I dunno. I just feel so so so alone. I feel unwanted and unappreciated all the time. I think i deserve so much but get nothing, but maybe i dont derserve anything. whatever.

Sold some jewelry yesterday. Judy bought $25 worth. Way awesome. hope it doesnt break lol.

im so over everything right now.

seems like everyone has that "someone". like a wing man, ya know? I feel like im alone though. the onlyone without a wingman. I never feel that way when im with kim and nichole. I dont get left out of a group when im with them. Im part of the group. God i miss them.

This blog is depressing.....embarassingggg
so much reading.
i should go

**one thing i wanna do before i die- be happy and not compare myself to others.


  1. i love your blog, it is the most honest. I cant be honest in mine becuase i made it open to everyone and put it on my facebook so people could keep up, but I am pretty sure julie is the only one that has looked at it from facebook. I want to make mine private and put stuff like this

  2. mines not private but im pretty sure no one reads it but you