This blog is basically turning in to a break up diary and i hate that. when i strted it i was so happy. breakups should not last 3 months. everyone i talk to says "get it through your skull, if he wanted you he would be with you" and i kind of believe it but i believe what hes saying too but i just dont understand it because i know when i want somehting i will be doing everything in my power for it to happen. so its summer vacation now, im back home. i have no friends here and the kids in hueneme who i thought i was close to dont call and ask me over. i feel bad that im so bitter that everyone is having so much fun, but i get jealous when i hear about everyones night and how awesomeeee and EPIC it was while i was sitting at home crying my eyes out. again. idk, i figure my life is sucking sooo hard this year that something AMAZING has to be thrown my way soon yea? fuuck, im talking to a friend right now and literally all she can say is "i cant believe how much fun last night was" and "omg last night was epic you have no idea" cool,. well, um
and now i have to start work, that im not even getting paid for hourly. so theres another thing that fucking sucks. and also the fact that tuition got raised by 10% and now i owe $200 added on the the $2000 i just paid, and now literally my bank account is at $0, hmm so lets think about my plans for this weekend....friday i work, saturday im....um...sitting. sunday im cleaning the entire house for my mom. wow im so fuck awesome its sickening.
this was the song i was balling my eyes out to last night.