Friday, August 28, 2009


So school has started and not a lot has happened. My classes are ok. Something exciting that happened was Chris was able to come back for a couple of days after Utah instead of leaving straight to europe. So he stayed here with me for a couple of nights. I wish i didnt have class so i could have spent more time with him, but it was amazing when he was here. A couple of days ago when we woke up he turned to me and i could barely keep my eyes open until he said "baby...." and i looked up at him and he said the words" i love you." I cant explain the feeling i felt when he said that to me because i had been feeling the same way for a bit of time. it was perfect and i said it back. we cant say it enough now. but then he had to leave and it was hard. he is now in france racing and has no internet and it not able to call because its so expensive. this is going to be so incredibly hard but will be worth it when he is back. Besides that, i feel so extremely alone here. no one lives on campus except steph and i and steph is alwayssss gone. like always. i feel unwanted. i thought when i came to school greg and i would hang out so much more. yea, ok. He's just like everyone else now. i guess he doesnt have an obligation to hang out with me but i would think he;d want to considering we are "besties" yea, sure greg. i feel so different from everyone here. i need to find people who are like me. i spend probably 70% of my time in my room alone and 25% in class and the rest maybe i will hang out with someone. I went to the mall with judy anne eddie andrew and diana yesterday. we stayed for like 20 minutes it sucked. i dont know what the point was but i felt left out. anne said "i have been calling stephanie alllll week like a million times to see if she can hang out and she is always busy" all i could think was 'why hasnt she called me?' I dont know, im getting over it. very very much so. and now chris has no internet so we cant talk other than txt msg but he is gonna be racing so he can barely do that. maybe i should give him a little space. i dint know. im so lost. so sad. and so alone. if you are reading this, please come here and save me.


*** one thing i wanna do before i die- go to a psychic

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