Sunday, September 20, 2009
I dont know what is it
Sometimes Ijust dont get why I care so much. Why can't i let him be happy, the same way he has let me be happy. He was my best friend. until i realized thats not what he wants. he cant be my best friend. i love him. Im not in love with him but i do love him and he will always have a piece of my heart. he was my first love. my first everything. i want him to be happy, but its weird that its not me anymore that makes him happy. I guess it makes me sick to think that he will be looking into her eyes telling her she is the most beautiful girl he has ever laid eyes on. or that he loves the way her skin feels or that her voice in his ears in her favorite. Im starting to not believe in love anymore. you can say "I iwll love you forver" and then the next month....be saying it to someone completely different. i feel i love Chris i really do, but who is to say that feeling will last forver. I dont know what else to write here. but i do know there are a billion more thoughts running in my head.